A Lesson from a Bar Last Friday

Pastor Mark was at a bar last Friday night celebrating a friend's birthday party.  We had a fun time playing Jenga and catching up and, for those who might be shocked about this scenario, no we did not get drunk.      Moving on...

While I was chatting with a friend, I started to notice a voice behind me growing louder and louder.  Finally, I turned around to see a man sitting in a booth staring angrily at me.  He was pointing wildly in the air and kept saying, "What's this?" to me.  I had no idea who he was or what he was talking about.  I thought maybe he wanted to know what song was playing.  Here is how the conversation went.

Angry Guy: What's this?  Huh?  What is this? (Pointing his finger in the air)

Me: What?

Angry Guy: What's this? (Pointing his finger everywhere)

Me: Do you mean the song sir?  I think this is Party Rock Anthem.

Angry Guy: No, this! (Pointing vigorously) What is that?  You pointing at me?

Me: No.  I wasn't pointing at you.

Angry Guy:  Are you pointing at me?

Me: No.  I'm just talking to my friend.  No pointing.

Angry Guy:  Cause you don't know me man.

Me: You're right, I don't know you.  I wasn't pointing at you, sorry if I bothered you.

Angry Guy: Good.

During our little conversation, I glanced around a bit and saw that my new friend had about nine empty glasses at his table and was working on his tenth drink.  He was growing louder and more angry as we spoke.  To be honest, I was pretty annoyed by his tone and I kind of wanted to be a little rude to him.  I almost told him he needed to calm down, but, by the grace of God, I decided to be more gracious with my response.  He grew more and more angry until I said sorry.  After that, he calmed down and turned back to his drink.  He glanced at me a few more times, but he left me alone after that.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  --  Proverbs 15:1

That verse pops into my head when I think back on this situation.  Was I in the wrong here?  No, not at all.  Did I owe that guy an apology?  Nope.  Would I have been wrong if I told him he needed to calm down?  No.  But a simple apology changed the whole game.  What was escalating into a drunk guy starting a fight with me was immediately ended by me choosing to be humble and gracious.

Now I don't say this to brag about myself.  If you know me personally, you know that my sarcasm and quick tongue can often get the best of me.  I say this to remind myself and you of this amazing truth.  So many fights, so much drama, so many problems can be completely avoided if we would just swallow our pride every so often and respond with grace, humility, and gentleness.

So be reminded this week, you don't have to win every argument or discussion with your friends, family, classmates, or co-workers.  More often than not, its better for everyone and pleasing to God for us to speak gently and turn aside the drama and anger that are brewing.

• Who have I been unnecessarily short with lately?  
• How do I cause trouble with my words?
• What drama or arguments am I in right now? 
• How can I bring a humble and gentle word into those situations to make peace?
• Give thanks that God Himself is humble and gentle toward us when we cause trouble with Him!
• Also, don't forget to vote for next Thursday's topic!